Getting back together with an ex-boyfriend is always a bit risky. Maybe you will both have learned from past mistakes or maybe you will be doomed to repeat them. The timing of the reconciliation is of the utmost importance. If things are rushed, you will find yourself dealing with the same issues that caused your breakup. However, if you wait too long, the spark may fade to a dull light incapable of bringing you back to each other.
Has Anything Changed?
The reason for the breakup will, in large part, determine when reconciliation is a wise move. It takes more than casual promises to “try harder this time” to make things work. You have to work on your issues. You have to change what needs changing and accept the things about each other that are there to stay. Wanting things to be better is easy making them better is not.
Take a hard, honest look at the dynamics between you and your ex. Do you feel confident that things have changed for the better? Do you feel better equipped to make it through challenging times? Only when you can confidently answer yes to both of these questions is reconciliation a good idea.
Letting Old Wounds Heal
Breakups can be quite damaging for couples. Even the most cordial of splits comes with its fair share of hurt feelings and lingering bitterness can spoil your new relationship. A good rule of thumb is to wait until the idea of getting back together with your ex feels fresh and new. You do not want to continue your old relationship, as this too often leads to continuing with your old problems. It should feel like the two of you are starting over rather than picking up where you left off.
Before deciding to get back together, have a frank discussion about your breakup. Discuss what you think went wrong and how these issue can be avoided in the future. This discussion will allow you to see if you are on the same page, and if you have put the negative emotions from the past behind you.
Trust Your Intuition
It is important to think things through but it is also important to listen to what your gut is telling you. Most women are quite intuitive when it comes to their relationships, but all too often they do not trust their intuition, and act against it. You should feel good when you think about being with your ex again. If the thought makes you feel nervous and apprehensive, the time may not be right.
Ask for Input
The decision is yours to make, but getting some advice from people you trust is never a bad idea. Your close friends will be able to see things more objectively, and may be able to offer you invaluable guidance. Take their input under consideration before making a final decision, and give yourself time to think things through so you can make it a wise one.
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